


Wake Up, Sunshine

by GiraffesAndDietPepsi



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Bisexual Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Bisexual Evan Hansen, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Soft Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25387492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiraffesAndDietPepsi/pseuds/GiraffesAndDietPepsi
Summary: Connor doesn't like celebrating his birthday, but Evan convinces him it might not be that bad.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 13
Kudos: 51





	Wake Up, Sunshine

“Tell me again why I have to be blindfolded?”

“I’m taking you to a surprise.”

Connor groans. He had clearly told Evan that he hadn’t wanted him to do anything special for his birthday. He remembers how Evan’s eyes had lit up when he had first asked when Connor’s birthday was; he also remembers how far Evan’s face had fallen when he had told him how much he abhorred people doing stuff for him on his birthday. It makes him feel weird that people congratulate him just for being born. It’s like they’re saying, ‘Congratulations! You’ve made it another year without dying’. Realistically, he knows that’s more of an accomplishment for him than most other people, but it doesn’t mean he has to like it.

“If you really don’t want it, you can take the blindfold off, and we can just go back to the car.” The volume of Evan’s voice had gone down considerably, to the point where Connor almost had to strain his ears to hear it. 

Connor knows he’s hurt Evan’s feelings, and if it were a year ago, he wouldn’t have given a single fuck about it. It’s not a year ago though, so he stops and reaches for Evan’s shoulders. It takes him a few moments to actually find them because he had only been holding Evan’s hand prior, and he still can’t see. Once he’s sure he’s facing his boyfriend, he sighs, “Evan, we’re not gonna do that. You know how I feel about birthdays, but you’re excited about this. I’m not gonna take that away from you just because I have a fucked up opinion on celebrating birthdays.”

Connor feels Evan’s hand on the side of his face, and he leans his head into it. “I know you don’t like celebrating your birthday; I know that. I also know what it means to make it to eighteen for both of us. I want to show you how much I appreciate that you’re here. Not just that you’re here with me now, though I can’t imagine my life without you, but I want to show you how much I appreciate you being alive. You’ve had a hard few years, and I almost lost you at the beginning of school last year. I wouldn’t have even known what I had lost. You have helped me so much this past year, and I need you to know how much I appreciate that. I love you so much, and I don’t know who I would be if you hadn’t survived. I don’t even know if I would be here.”

Connor hears Evan sniff. “Can I take the blindfold off? I need to see you when I say this.”

He waits a moment before he hears a small wet chuckle. As he feels the blindfold being taken off, Evan says, “I nodded, and it took me a second before I realized you couldn’t see me.”

“Oh,” Connor laughs. It takes him a moment to figure out what exactly he wants to tell Evan, “I’m glad that I survived too. I felt so hopeless the first day of senior year, and I didn’t think there was any good left for me in the world. Then you show up in my hospital room because my parents read the letter I took from you, and you decided I was worth knowing. That was the first bit of light I had seen in a long time. For the first time in years, someone wanted to know me and didn’t run away at the first sign of crazy.”

“You’re not crazy,” Evan interrupts him.

Connor’s eyes soften even more, “You were the first person to think that in a long time though. Whether I was crazy or not isn’t important. What is important is how you looked past the worst of me; you got past my defense mechanisms to actually learn who I am. I am so incredibly happy you didn’t manage to do more than break your arm when you let go of the tree last year. I know that had you not come to see me in the hospital, I would’ve kept trying to make death stick. I’m not saying I’m living for you; I’m saying you bring out the part of me that wants to be a better person. You made me want to improve my mental health and get better. You encouraged me to repair my relationship with Zoe and my parents, and you’ve helped me to become a better person. I love you, Ev. More than anything or anyone else in the world because you not only make me a better person, but you make me  _ want _ to be a better person as well.”

Evan has tears running down his face, and Connor goes to wipe them away. This isn’t the first time either of them has declared their love for the other, but Connor figures his words have made Evan feel a lot. “Can I have a kiss, please?”

Connor takes Evan’s tear-streaked cheeks between his hands and kisses him. It’s soft, warm, and it feels like home. Evan’s hands have migrated to his hair, and he smiles into the kiss.

When Evan pulls away from the kiss a moment later, Connor keeps his forehead pressed to Evan’s. “I love you so much,” Connor whispers, not wanting to break the moment.

“I love you too, Connie.”

Connor knows he’s grinning like an idiot after Evan replies. The nickname had admittedly weirded him out a little when Evan first used it, but Connor has grown increasingly attached to the name.

Connor places another peck on Evan’s lips before he pulls back, “Now let’s see what you’ve planned to celebrate my birth.”

Evan laughs at his wording before taking his hand and drags him to a blanket laid down under the tallest tree in the orchard. Connor had figured this is where Evan would take him, but he had thought there would be more based on all the trouble Evan had gone to keep it a secret.

“I know you didn’t want to celebrate your birthday, but I had to do something. So, I figured we’d just come and bask in the beauty of the trees.” Evan’s eyes are wide and hopeful, and Connor thinks he looks beautiful.

“This is perfect.” Connor takes his hand, and they lay down on the blanket, Evan’s head on his chest. “If I could just stay here and be with you for forever, I’d die a happy man.”

“That sounds perfect.” 

They’re silent for a long while, just basking in each other’s presence and the beauty of the trees. Connor looks up at the sky, “I think I get why you’d want to celebrate a birthday. It’s not about having been alive for so long; it’s the fact that someone else wants to celebrate that you‘re there with them.”

Evan hums in agreement, “For us, that’s what it’ll be.”

They fall silent again.

“I still think birthdays are fucking weird.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think; this is the first time I've ever written fluff. This was a birthday present for a friend. 
> 
> Title from "Wake Up, Sunshine" by All Time Low


End file.
